No introduction for this one, either.
In case it isn't obvious already I have really lost motivation for this project already. It's only been two months. There haven't been any comments, and things in life are just piling up higher and higher and it just doesn't seem like there's any point to it anymore. I need to stop joining new forums because I can never keep up. I used to only be a member of one forum. That was nice. I was very good at keeping up then.
I can't even remember if I wrote about this already - I don't think I did. Early in December I am going to visit a friend of mine in Toronto for their birthday. With luck, another friend will be coming along which is good because I have not seen her in like seven months (will have been nine by then) and I miss her a loooot. I also miss things like regular hugs. And seeing more than one or two friends on a regular basis. And thinking life would be as simple as realizing I was gay and then waiting for the rest of my life to just march on by in the wake of the big revelation.
The revelations aren't done yet, and I haven't seen a single marcher. I have seen a couple tired pedestrians shuffling their feet, but no line of marchers as of yet. I am frustrated and I am miserable and I feel sick and I am so so lonely, and all of this just makes me even more frustrated and miserable because I think about how I am so lucky compared to some other people and yet it's never enough. I want to be one of those people who is just thankful and content and takes what comes to them and doesn't hide, but I can't figure it out. It seems simple enough but something about it just doesn't figure right inside my head.
Anyhoo. I am going to go to bed because it's 2am and no one's online so I am bored, and I also have to work tomorrow. Sooooo bye.
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