Good morning solar system. I think I've discovered why stupid people are usually noticeably happier than smarter people - it's because the more you think about things the more frustrating they become.
I realized this because I've been thinking a lot about the world lately. And how I'm pretty much guaranteed to have to put up with bullshit for my entire life and there's not a single thing I can do about it. Even if I died tomorrow through some random unforseeable mishap, I still would have had to put up with bullshit for my entire life.
Here's the thing. The thing that lots and lots of people need to pay very close attention to (though I doubt any of them will ever read this.
Being gay is not a choice. It is not a phase. It is not a sin, and it is not a disease. Queer people are not a cult. We aren't setting out to ruin families, we aren't setting out to corrupt and pervert children.
I would like to think that I am nice. I would like to think that I generally treat people kindly, and with fairness. I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I've never had sex and I recycle where the option is given. I care about animals deeply and I don't even kill bugs (except mosquitoes. I'm sorry to say that I am prejudiced against those, but it's not their fault that they're evil.) But those aren't the things that most people think of in regards to me. I am the gay friend. I'm the gay son, gay brother, gay coworker, gay student, gay classmate and so on, and so forth.
I don't mean to sound like a jerk when I say this, but... that irritates me. More than a little. I don't even use that word to describe myself, but it's what people have been calling me since before I even knew what SEX was let alone sexual orientation. I am sick of it. I want to be a person, a real three dimensional person. I don't think I have mentioned this here yet, but I hate gender roles and I hate all these little sub-sects of sexual orientation that we've been divided into.
Why is that that we still expect boys to play sports, and women to cook, and woman to be big and muscled and women to be sickly thin and drowned in makeup. Why is there tomboys and tomgirls and bull dykes and camp gays and whatever else. Why can't we all just be PEOPLE.
I understand that people like to label things. They like to have clear lines that state if something is this, it is this. But that's not how people work. There are exceptions to every rule and every time a new rule is made there is going to be an exception already existing somewhere.
I am sick and tired of worrying every single day "what will somebody think of" (something they have no right knowing anyway) because I hear on tv or read online that someone's committed suicide, someone's been murdered, someone's been beaten within an inch of their lift and left lying there, for no reason. Some may say the reason was that they were gay, that they were transgendered, that they were whatever, but that is NOT a reason. Maybe it was a motivation, but never a reason. There is not an ounce of sound logic behind that kind of action, not one tiny fragment of reason. It is cruel an it is heartless, and it is brainless and savage beast lashing out like an animal trapped in the corner because they don't understand something, and the lack of understanding frightens them.
This is not something that is new to the world. Humans have always lashed out against things that were unknown to them (rather violently, too) but luckily we have narrowed it down quite significantly (at least in this country we have).
Anyhoo, I am very tired and I'm probably going to read this back tomorrow and think it sounds crazy and ridiculous, but oh well. Those are my thoughts for tonight.
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