Good evening solar system, I am sleepy (as usual).
Today at work I was thinking. What is it that makes us not just humans, but something more. What is it that makes us not just another race of animals, but actually "people." My theory, pessimistic as it may sound is that it is in large part thanks to one trait; foolishness. Whether we're doing something irrational because of someone we love, for something we believe in, or because we are scared or upset or maybe even plain insensitive - the fact that we have those stumbles, those falls, and sometimes take down the entire proverbial house of cards with us, is what allows is to be the beings we have come to be.
In one person's lifetime, countless mistakes and foolish thoughts and actions are made, and countless others are avoided. Sometimes there are no major repercussions. Sometimes they are life-altering for not only us but others involved. We not only make the mistakes, but we make all the decisions and think all the thoughts leading up to the mistakes, we feel the pain and disappointment of the aftermath, and more often than not, we come away learning something about ourselves or the world.
From what I have been told, many people try to figure out what the point of it all is. I have wondered this numerous times myself, but I have come to realize something. There is no universal solution. There is no secret formula for a happy life, there is no great and all-encompassing answer. There is just us. In the end, I think that's what it really comes down. We have to find our own answers, build our own world and make our own meaning. We have to take a good look at the world around us - our world - and realize that it is just that. Your neighbour, your best friend, your mother, they all have their own worlds, and the meaning of theirs probably differs greatly from the meaning of your own. Because they have made different mistakes. They have felt different pains, and they have shed different tears.
Now for a second matter which I'm going to try to squeeze in before I fall asleep.
I was talking to a coworker the other day about a transgander friend of mine. We have discussed the subject very briefly once or twice before, so I know she's not transphobic or anything. But in this instance she did say something which I didn't agree with, and that was that my friend was technically still a girl, because he has the same body parts as my coworker does. I was speechless, partly because I wasn't the mood to get into it (especially not at work) and partly because I didn't know how to explain it.
A lesbian once asked me what it felt like to have an erection - and this was kind of like that. Because I know what my own brain tells me is right and wrong, and I know some very basic reasons for why my brain tells me those things. But I don't know what is inside someone else's brain. I don't know how it feels to be in their head, and I have nothing to make a reference to because not only am I not inside their brain, they aren't inside mine.
I do not think that the essence of a person comes down to one chromosome. I do not think that a persons identity is made up entirely of their physical form. I think a person is the thoughts and the words and the sensitivities and the humor, and all of those things that we can't see but we come to discover by being around someone. I don't think you can ever know a person just by seeing them on the street or talking to them once. A person is an essence, a set of traits and inner workings, and a whole entire world of things we will never ever know about. So to say that the essence of a person, that the thoughts and the feelings that are so frightening and confusing for so many people, are defined by whether they've got lumps on their chest or their crotch, to me seems very wrong and very demeaning to the person.
There is a reason we say someone has a kind soul, that they have a gentle soul and not a brunette soul or a bespectacled soul. Because brown hair and glasses are things that happen randomly when a bunch of strands of DNA get all smooshed together and decide based on (what my extremely limited knowledge of genetics assumes to be) a somewhat random chemical reaction, what kind of physical form to build out of the cells and components that the conception process presents it with. They are not the very core of what a person is, and frankly, I don't think a person's gender is NEARLY as important as some people in this world make it out to be.
That's all for me. You'll see me tomorrow.
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