Good evening solar system. This is probably going to be a kind of short post.
So, I must admit that I am getting a little bit discouraged with certain aspects of my life. I'm not gonna bore you all with the details of each of the separate areas, but I am going to give you a general overview of my lamenting. When I first started this project I was considerably happier than I had been for a large space of time beforehand, and I really built myself up for something big. Like "YEAH I am gonna do this, I am gonna DISCOVER something, I am gonna CHANGE something, I am gonna ACCOMPLISH something" and so far... I pretty much seem to be in the exact same place I started in.
Maybe I'm not reflecting enough. Maybe I'm not writing the right sort of stuff. Maybe my life is just destined to be boring and empty and uneventful and there's nothing I can do about it without radically changing the core of the person that I am.
There is something I must confess to you all. I joined a dating site. I'm not gonna tell you which one or anything, but thus far it has not garnered any positive results. I am crap at describing myself in an appealing manner, I am crap at looking presentable in photos, and I am crap at talking to people I don't know without sounding desperate for some sort of connection because I am shy and I am timid and I do not have good self esteem and I always think THIS PERSON IS WAY TOO AWESOME WHY WOULD THEY EVER WANT TO TALK TO ME and I have a habit of starting messages with SORRY IF THIS SOUNDS WEIRD BUT, because honestly I have no idea what people consider to be weird. I don't know how to start a conversation with a stranger when I am contacting them as a result of them posting a list of their attributes on the internet.
As a matter of fact, I have only had three people message me back. The first one ended the conversation rather abruptly without giving any indication that he *was* ending it (other than just never replying) or why, the second guy I am still conversing with but it's clearly never going to expand beyond casual conversation, and the third guy replied once and that was it.
A friend of mine joined the same site and had three guys message her OVER NIGHT. I haven't had that many in three months... in fact I have only had ONE guy initiate a conversation with me, and he was nearly 50 years old, only looking for a woman, and was asking me something that was clearly stated in the most basic terms on my main profile.
In other news I watched two Pokemon movies today even though I don't really like the anime but I had nothing better to do and wanted to see if I could learn anything interesting about the legendary Pokemon. I didn't. I only work two hours tomorrow so I hope I can find something interesting to do with the rest of my day. But probably not.
And that is all.
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