January 21st - Night Time

So, it has been almost a year since my return to the realm of singularity. Seeing as how that was pretty much my first real relationship and it didn't even last 6 months you'd figure I'd be kind of used to it by now. And I guess I am, sort of. It's not really a big deal most of the time. Kind of unfortunate some other times.

Then there are times when I wake up in the middle of the night and am so lonely I can't get back to sleep, which is especially unfortunate when I have to be up for work in a few hours. And I have a bad habit of going to bed at the exact moment I need to go to bed to get 8 hours of sleep, if not later. I very rarely leave myself any recovery time.

I just want this feeling to stop. I want the emptiness to go away, I want to be special to someone, I want to have someone to share my life with. It doesn't have to be for the rest of my life. Not yet. I just want there to be something there. I almost wish I could be one of those people who just has a bunch of random sex with strangers and able to get by on that. But I really don't think I could be.

Which is sort of too bad, seeing as how I don't have a heck of a lot to offer from a relationship perspective, really. But it's almost 3am now and I have to get up at 7. So I'm not going to get into it any more than that.

January 4th - I Did All Of The Freaking

So work. That is a thing I have been doing a lot of lately, which is good because that means I am making money. Money which I get very little of because I have debts to repay. So many debts. Like, two. I also need to buy a wii and a ps3 at some point. Not a 3ds though, those are rubbish.

I am kind of surprised that my boss hasn't punched me in the face by now, I manage to screw up every little thing at least once. Most of the time it's more than once. But in the past month we've lost three employees, so she probably feels like she is stuck with me. I must frustrate her to no end, though, and that is not a nice feeling.

My grandmother is in the hospital at present, she had a very long surgery yesterday and lost a lot of blood in the process, but she is doing alright and is stable now. My sister and her boyfriend and I are stopping by the hospital tomorrow to see her.

Other than those pleasant details there isn't a whole lot happening with me. I've been playing The World Ends With You again. Been trying to write, it hasn't been working out too well. Well. Not too well from a story perspective, I've written a bit of lyrics. Been listening to a lot of Florence + The Machine lately, so I think that really helps.

I've also been working on another little project of mine (it isn't really a "little" project, actually) and that is... well, it's something. I hesitate to call what I've been doing "progress" but there's certainly more of it than what I started with. So that's good I guess?

And that's all for now.